The toupees sat opposite each other @ the round table.
“Well, I don’t know whether randomly stabbing orphaned children is good or not, ’cause I don’t like being partisan like some people,” said the brown hairpiece.
“Well, I’m so nonpartisan that I don’t e’en judge whether random stabbings e’er happen or not,” said the blond cut.
“Well, I’m so nonpartisan that I don’t e’en judge whether knives exist or not!”
The blond toupee pulled out a knife & thrust it into the brown.
“O my god, ¿what’ve I done?” exclaimed the blond. “I can’t just kill an up-winger without killing a downist, too; that’d be biased.”
So it stabbed itself to death.