Snakes on a Plain Plane Complaint

Hiss pounded his rattle.

“~!S-s-stop! 1 o’ you, ~!s-s-stop & ‘s-s-splain!”

Cyril turned to Hiss, smoothed his tattered tie, & said, “I tried telling Quintin that Peru’s north, near Canada; but he wouldn’t listen.”

Quintin spoke: “Don’t listen to him, our Anubis; everyone knows Peru is south—that’s where its continent, Africa, is, after all.”

Hiss pounded his rattle ‘gain, thinking, Mother was right when she said having humans could be a chore.

So Hiss charged them for their own medical bills & half each for the plane repairs & then lured them back into their water ball with torn-off clumps o’ Hiss’s pizza.

Prompt:

Judge, Peru, snake