He had an odd hobby. He ne’er left his email account & ne’er left his phone ‘hind. He’d sit there staring @ his email list, refreshing every 5 seconds. The second he received an email, he’d write from scratch an artificial form email telling them ‘long the lines, “Sorry, but your email could not reach email@example.com.”
He practiced typing so much that he now could pump out o’er 200 words per minute—a necessity to post that error email in time to not make people suspicious. He knew people could oft be suspicious.